When you walk around people, do you hold your head up or do you look down at the ground? I never thought about it all until one day when my husband & I dropped our kids off at school. We were walking back to our car when my husband says “Wow, you didn’t even wave back to them!” I was like what are you talking about?? He said “2 different people just waved at you, one a few feet away from us & another that drove by us & you didn’t wave back so I did.” I said I didn’t even see them I was looking down. My husband was like “really I mean it was right in front of us”. But honestly I didn’t see either person.
A few weeks later I dropped the kids off by myself. As I walked to the car like always after leaving the classrooms I saw a few people walking towards me & as soon as I saw them I looked down at the ground. Immediately I heard “you did it again!” Right then I remembered what had happened a few weeks prior when my husband couldn’t understand how I didn’t see the 2 different people waving at me. As I got in my car it started to bother me, and in that moment I realized that looking down was something I’ve always done.
Looking back, I never walked around confidently, I always look down never making eye contact with people. I’m sure people must think I’m rude or something. But over the years it became a habit! As I thought more about it I did that since I was in middle school. I was teased throughout middle & high school, as I was a bit heavier, being quiet & shy didn’t help. I took the long ways to my classes unless I was walking with friends to avoid being teased in the halls, I rather be hidden then seen. Then after high school, made some mistakes that people knew about that made me feel ashamed, not good enough to do anything & then worried about what others thought of me. So looking down was the way I walked through life but I never really noticed until that moment.
BUT, that is NOT who I am!! Yes we all make mistakes but that does not define who we are!! It took me a little while to grasp that & believe it for myself. I am not that scared girl anymore, who is afraid of people & of being seen. I now realize the day I accepted Christ into my heart (April 22, 2006) is the day I became a daughter of the most loving Father. Whose love is unconditional, who gave His son for me and washed me clean and doesn't see the mistakes I made or a timid, not good enough, unqualified girl. I became good enough and qualified to do the things I have been called to do and be the person I was created to be. I just needed to realize that & believe it for myself.
2 Timothy 1:7 (Mirror Bible) Become fully acquainted with His gift in you, there is nothing timid about it, the dynamic of a mind liberated in the spirit of love is fearless and unstoppable.
2 Timothy 2:21 (Mirror Bible) Realize your individual value and stop discrediting yourself. You are indispensable for your Masters use, He knows exactly what He has in you, be ready for any good work.
Now I am confidence in God & who HE says I am, not what others or negative thoughts say. I have peace & joy. I have been made righteous in my Father's eyes, because of Jesus whose selfless act of love made a way for me and all who believe in Him to become a part of an eternal family.
It’s a process to get out of a habit, but when I catch myself looking down & insecurities start to rise, I remind myself of who my Heavenly Father says I am. You can do the same!! Every promise God gave, you have. Everything HE says you are is final because of Christ in you & your faith in Him.
So if you are like I was, keeping your head down afraid to be seen, feeling like your not good enough. Know that is NOT who you were created to be. We are not here just to exist, but to enjoy this life and live it to its fullest. We all have a purpose whether we realize it or not that is greater than ourselves. But it starts with you believing the truth for yourself!!
Philippians 3:13 (NLT) No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead
Romans 12:2 (NLT) Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
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